The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and males utilize love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles translate excellent sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be great too).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , resulting in effective sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, wellness, and nearness .

But when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay males particularly in urbane areas, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, motivates sex. Lots of gay men wish to learn from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be great?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I think this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a given that we can't control in a relationship; it click over here now is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This suggests integrating chemistry with sound judgment. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, values, requirements, and objectives -- while feeling all those exciting stimulates!

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