The Sexuality Pitfall, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to obtain love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs analyze great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther since for these songs, having sex carries tremendous significance and consequences.

Singles fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready as well).

B.more typically, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
Rather than looking at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to extremely hard to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel very close to and bonded go right here with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, closeness, well-being, and love .

When issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is great!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay guys, states that much of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys especially in urbane locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I think this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to explain that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry happen, though often it can grow with time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by advice paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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