The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader composed in with a dating dilemma and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles interpret excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, making love carries tremendous meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they believe sex is a essential test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent as well).

B.more commonly, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with reality when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body responds to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to more tips here make love with somebody we are brought in to exceptionally difficult to resist. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, nearness, love, and wellness .

When problems occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is fantastic!" They probably would not confess, however they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay guys, says that a number of his clients have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban areas, sex is readily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

North adds, "I suspect this is a 'guy' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to explain that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a considered that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry danger relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This indicates integrating chemistry with common sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, values, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Sex Lure, Balancing Hormones and the Head”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar