The Sex Catch, Stabilizing Hormonal Agents and the Brain

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to obtain love, and males utilize love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings tremendous meaning and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they think sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be excellent also).

B.more commonly, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed songs consider themselves a committed couple as quickly as they have sex.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with reality when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the chance to make love with somebody we are attracted to extremely tough to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are uncontrolled and strong , causing effective sensations of destination, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is fantastic!" They more than likely wouldn't confess it, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay males, says that numerous of his clients have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in urban areas, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to be excellent?".

Nevertheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do want to mention that chemistry is necessary. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry occur, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure. Oxytocin

To avoid the Sex Trap, you need to balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While excellent sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, values, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting triggers!

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