The Sensuality Trap, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader composed in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a fantastic summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is similar to the Love Trap, where singles analyze great sex as love. However those who fall under the Sex Trap go even further due to the fact that for these songs, having sex brings enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 methods:

A.they believe sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will ready also).

B.more commonly, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of looking at whether this other person may be a match on levels aside from physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to someone we are attracted to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), that makes the chance to make love with somebody we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce emotions), which makes us feel really near and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and uncontrolled , causing effective sensations of attraction, enjoyment, love, nearness, and wellness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall under the Sex Trap often rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got issues, however the sex is fantastic!" They most likely wouldn't admit it, but they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary hunting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in cities, sex is readily offered, which in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, More Info with its focus on physical appearance, motivates sexual activity. Lots of gay men wish to discover from the starting if a possible partner is going to be sexually compatible. Why waste your time if the find out here sex isn't going to be good?".

North includes, "I believe this is a ' person' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to point out that chemistry is very important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't control in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the partnership to work. If not there, we can't "make" chemistry occur, though often it can grow in time.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormonal agents) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with sound judgment. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner options by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those amazing triggers!

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